4/30/2011

A GENTLE HEART - DR. J.R. MILLER (1896)


Our Corporate / Professional Training



includes being:


"tough-minded"



–adjective


1. characterized by a practical, unsentimental attitude or point of view.


2. strong-willed; vigorous; not easily swayed.



"clinical"


–adjective


1.  pertaining to a clinic.


2. concerned with or based on actual observation and treatment of disease in patients rather than experimentation or theory.


3. extremely objective and realistic; dispassionately analytic; unemotionally critical: She regarded him with clinical detachment.


Where does a 'Gentle Heart' fit in to our corporate / professional lifestyle?

What role does a strong 'Family Enterprise' CEO play?

I discovered Dr. Miller's Pastoral life quite by chance and look upon his life's work through a non denominational / secular societal set of eyes - those of a Professional / Applied Scientist.

The following is an excerpt from the Pastor Dr. J.R. Miller DD (1896)

Dr. Miller's background (Wikipedia) and his complete manuscript follow at the end of the excerpt.

Gentleness is a beautiful quality. It is essential to all true character. Nobody admires ungentleness in either man or woman. When a man is harsh, cold, unfeeling, unkind, and crude and rough in his manner—no one speaks of his fine disposition. When a woman is loud-voiced, dictatorial, petulant, given to speaking bitter words and doing unkindly things—no person is ever heard saying of her, "What a lovely disposition she has!" She may have many excellent qualities, and may do much good—but her ungentleness mars the beauty of her character.


No man is truly great, who is not gentle.


Courage and strength and truth and justness and righteousness are essential elements in a manly character; but if all these be in a man and gentleness be lacking—the life is sadly flawed. We might put the word gentleness into Paul's wonderful sentences and read them thus: "If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not gentleness, I am become sounding brass, or a clanging cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not gentleness, I am nothing. And if I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and if I give my body to be burned, but have not gentleness, it profits me nothing."


The Bible gives us many a glimpse of gentleness as an attribute of God. We think of the Law of Moses as a great collection of dry statutes, referring to ceremonial observances, to forms of worship, and to matters of duty. This is one of the last places where we would look for anything tender. Yet he who goes carefully over the chapters which contain these laws, comes upon many a bit of gentleness—like a sweet flower on a cold mountain crag.


We think of Sinai as the seat of law's sternness. We hear the voice of thundering, and we see the flashing of lightning. Clouds and darkness and all dreadfulness surround the mountain. The people are kept far away because of the fearful holiness of the place. No one thinks of hearing anything gentle at Sinai. Yet scarcely even in the New Testament is there a more wonderful unveiling of the love of the divine heart than we find among the words spoken on that smoking mountain. "I am the Lord, I am the Lord, the merciful and gracious God. I am slow to anger and rich in unfailing love and faithfulness. I show this unfailing love to many thousands by forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion." Exodus 34:6-7


Gentleness being a divine quality is one which belongs to the true human character. We are taught to be perfect as our Father in heaven is perfect; if we would be like God—we must be gentle!


This world needs nothing more than it needs gentleness. All human hearts hunger for tenderness. We are made for love—not only to love, but to be loved. Harshness pains us. Ungentleness touches our sensitive spirits as frost touches the flowers. It stunts the growth of all lovely things.


We naturally crave gentleness. It is like a genial summer to our life. Beneath its warm, nourishing influence beautiful things in us grow.


Then there always are many people who have special need of tenderness. We cannot know what secret burdens many of those about us are carrying, what hidden griefs burn like fires in the hearts of those with whom we mingle in our common life. Not all grief wears the outward garb of mourning; sunny faces often times veil heavy hearts. Many people who make no audible appeal for sympathy yet crave tenderness—they certainly need it, though they ask it not—as they bow beneath their burden. There is no weakness in such a yearning. We remember how our Master himself longed for expressions of love when he was passing through his deepest experiences of suffering, and how bitterly he was disappointed when his friends failed him.


Many a life goes down in the fierce, hard struggle—for lack of the blessing of strength which human tenderness would have brought. Many a man owes his victoriousness in sorrow or in temptation—to the gentleness which came to him in some helpful form from a thoughtful friend. We know not who of those we meet any day, need the help which our gentleness could give. Life is not easy to most people. It duties are hard. Its burdens are heavy. Life's strain never relaxes. There is no truce in life's battle. This world is not friendly to noble living. There are countless antagonisms. Heaven can be reached by any of us, only by passing through serried lines of strong enmity. Human help is not always ready, when it would be welcomed. Too often men find indifference or opposition—where they ought to find love. Life's rivalries and competitions are sharp, and often times deadly.


We can never do amiss in showering gentleness. There is no day when it will be untimely; there is no place where it will not find welcome. It will harm no one—and it may save someone from despair. The touch of a child


There is need for the lesson of gentleness in homes. There love's sweetest flowers should bloom. There we should always carry our purest and best affections. No matter how heavy the burdens of the day have been, when we gather home at nightfall we should bring only cheer and gentleness. No one has any right to be ungentle in his own home. If he finds himself in such a mood he should go to his room—until it has vanished.


The mother's life is not easy, however happy she may be. Her hours are long, and her load of care is never laid down. When one day's tasks are finished, and she seeks her pillow for rest, she knows that her eyes will open in the morning on another day full as the one that is gone. With children about her continually, tugging at her dress, climbing up on her knee, bringing their little hurts, their quarrels, their broken toys, their complaints, their thousand questions to her—and then with all the cares and toils that are hers, and with all the interruptions and annoyances of the busy days—it is no wonder if sometimes the strain is almost more than she can endure in quiet patience.


Nevertheless, we should all try to learn the lesson of gentleness in our homes. It is the lesson that is needed to make the home-happiness a little like heaven! Home is meant to be a place to grow in. It is a school in which we should learn love in all its branches. It is not a place for selfishness or for self indulgence. It should never be a place where a man can work off his annoyances, after trying to keep polite and courteous to others, all the day. It is not a place for the opening of doors of heart and lips to let ugly tempers fly out at will. It is not a place where people can act as they feel, however unchristian their feelings may be, withdrawing the guards of self control, relaxing all restraints, and letting their worse tempers have sway.


Home is a school in which there are great life-lessons to be learned. It is a place of self-discipline. All friendship is disciple. We learn to give up our own way—or if we do not we never can become a true friend.


It is well that we get this truth clearly before us, that life with all its experiences is our opportunity for learning love. The lesson is set for us is, "Love one another. As I have loved you—so you must love one another." Our one thing to master this lesson, is love. We are not in this world to get rich, to gain power, to become learned in the arts and sciences, to build up a great business, or to do great things in any other way. We are not here to get along in our daily work, in our shops, or schools, or homes, or on our farms. We are not here to preach the gospel, to comfort sorrow, to visit the sick, and perform deeds of charity. All of these, or any of these, may be among our duties, and they may fill our hands; but in all our occupations the real business of life, that which we are always to strive to do, the work which must go on in all our experiences, if we grasp life's true meaning at all—is to learn to love, and to grow loving in disposition and character.


We may learn the finest arts—music, painting, sculpture, poetry; or may master the noblest sciences; or by means of reading, study, travel, and converse with refined people, may attain the best culture. But if in all this, we do not learn love, and become more gentle in spirit and act—we have missed the prize of living. If in the midst of all our duties, cares, trials, joys, sorrows—we are not day by day growing in sweetness, in gentleness, in patience, in meekness, in unselfishness, in thoughtfulness, and in all the branches of love, we are not learning the great lesson set for us by our Master, in this school of life.


We should be gentle above all—to those we love the best. There is an inner circle of affection to which each heart has a right, without robbing others. While we are to be gentle unto all men—never ungentle to any—there are those to whom we owe special tenderness. Those within our own home belong to this sacred inner circle.


We must make sure that our home piety is true and real, that it is of the spirit and life, and not merely in form. It must be love—love wrought out in thought, in word, in disposition, in act. It must show itself not only in patience, forbearance, and self control, and in sweetness under provocation; but also in all gentle thoughtfulness, and in little tender ways in all the family interactions.


No amount of good religious teaching will ever make up for the lack of affectionateness in parents toward children. A gentleman said the other day, "My mother was a good woman. She insisted on her boys going to church and Sunday-school, and taught us to pray. But I do not remember that she ever kissed me. She was a woman of lofty principles—but cold and reserved—lacking in tenderness."


It does not matter how much Bible reading, and prayer, and catechism-saying, and godly teaching, there may be in a home. If gentleness is lacking, that is lacking which most of all, the children need in the life of their home. A child must have love. Love is to its life, what sunshine is to plants and flowers. No young life can ever grow to its best—in a home without gentleness.


Yet there are parents who forget this, or fail to realize its importance. There are homes where the scepter is iron—where affection is repressed—where a child is never kissed after baby days have passed.


A woman of genius said that until she was eighteen she could not tell time by the clock. When she was twelve her father had tried to teach her how to tell time; but she had failed to understand him, and feared to let him know that she had not understood. Yet she said, that he had never in his life spoken to her a harsh word. On the other hand, however, he had never spoken an endearing word to her; and his marble-like coldness had frozen her heart! After his death she wrote of him, "His heart was pure—but cold. I think there was no other like it on the earth."


I plead for love's gentleness in homes. Nothing else will take its place. There may be fine furniture, rich carpets, costly pictures, a large library of excellent volumes, fine music, and all luxuries and adornments; and there may be religious forms—a family altar, good instruction, and consistent Christian living; but if gentleness is lacking in the family communion—the lack is one which leaves an irreparable hurt in the lives of the children.


There are many people who, when their loved ones die, wish they could send some words of love and tenderness to them, which they have never spoken while their loved ones were close beside them. In too many homes gentleness is not manifested while the family circle is unbroken; and the hearts ache for the privilege of showing kindness, perhaps for the opportunity of unsaying words and undoing acts which caused pain. We would better learn the lesson of gentleness in time, and then fill our home with love while we may. It will not be very long until our chance of showing love shall have been used up!


As Moses' face shone when he came down among the people, after being with God in the mount—so our faces should carry the warmth and glow of tenderness from love's inner shrine—out into all other places of ordinary social interaction. What we learn of love's lesson in our home—we should put into practice in our life in the world, in the midst of its strifes, rivalries, competitions, frictions, and manifold trials and testings.


We must never forget that true religion—in its practical outworking—is love. Some people think religion is mere orthodoxy of belief—that he who has a good creed is truly religious. We must remember that the Pharisees had a good creed, and were orthodox; yet we have our Lord's testimony that their religion did not please God. It lacked love. It was self-righteous, and unmerciful.


Others think that true religion consists in the punctilious observance of forms of worship. If they are always at church on Sundays and other church meetings, and if only they attend to all the ordinances, and follow all the rules—they are religious. Yet sometimes they are not easy people to live with. They are censorious, dictatorial, judges of others, exacting, severe in manner, harsh in speech. Let no one imagine that any degree of devotion to the church, and diligence in observing ordinances, will ever pass with God for true religion—if one has not love, is not loving and gentle.


The practical outworking of true religion—is love. A good creed is well; but doctrines which do not become a life of gentleness in character and disposition, in speech and in conduct, are not fruitful doctrines. Those who live the gentle life of patient, thoughtful, selfless love—make a melody whose strains are enrapturing.


Someone asks almost in disheartenment. "How can we learn this lesson of gentleness?" Many of us seem never to master it. We go on through life, enjoying the means of grace, and striving more or less earnestly to grow better. Yet our progress appears to be very slow. We desire to learn love's lesson—but it comes out very slowly in our life.


We must note, first of all, that the lesson has to be learned. It does not come naturally, at least to most people. We find it hard to be gentle always, and to all kinds of people. Perhaps we can be gentle on sunny days; but when the harsh north wind blows—we grow fretful, and lose our sweetness. Or we can be gentle without much effort to some gentle-spirited people, while perhaps we are almost unbearably ungentle to others. We are gracious and sweet to those who are gracious to us; but when people are rude to us, when they treat us unkindly, when they seem unworthy of our love—it is not so easy to be gentle to them. Yet that is the lesson which is everywhere taught in the Scriptures, and which the Master has set for us.


It is a comfort to us to know that the lesson has to be learned—and does not come as a gift from God, without any effort. We must learn to be gentle, just as artists learn to paint lovely pictures. They spend years and years under masters, and in patient, toilsome effort—before they can paint pictures which at all realize the lovely visions of their soul. It is a still more difficult are to learn to reproduce visions of love in human life—to be always patient, gentle, kind.


It gives us encouragement, as we are striving to get our lesson, to read the words in which Paul says that he had learned to be content whatever his condition was. It adds, too, to the measure of our encouragement to see from the chronology of the letter in which we find this bit of autobiography, that the apostle was well on toward the close of his life—when he wrote so triumphantly of this attainment. We may infer that it was not easy for him to learn the lesson of contentment, and that he was quite an old man before he had mastered it!


It is probably as hard to learn to be always gentle—as it is to learn to be always contented. It will take time, and careful, unwearying application. We must set ourselves resolutely to the task; for the lesson is one that we must not fail to learnWe must never rest satisfied with any partial attainment. Just so far as we are still ungentle, rude to anyone, even to a beggar, sharp in speech, haughty in bearing, unkind in any way to a human being—the lesson of gentleness is yet imperfectly learned, and we must continue our diligence. We must get control of our temper, and must master all our moods and feelings. We must train ourselves to check any faintest risings of irritation, turning it instantly into an impulse of tenderness. We must school ourselves to be thoughtful, patient, charitable, and to desire always to do good. The way to acquire any grace of character—is to compel thought, word, and act in the one channel—until the lovely quality has become a permanent part of our life.


There is something else. We never can learn the lesson ourselves alone. To have gentleness in one's life—one must have a gentle heart. Mere human gentleness is not enough. We need more than training and self-discipline. Our heart must be made new—before it will yield the life of perfect lovingness. It is full of self and pride and hatred and envy and all undivine qualities.


For Dr. JR Miller's background read:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J._R._Miller



Dr. JR Miller's complete article follows:

A Gentle Heart



J. R. Miller, 1896


"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart." Matthew 11:29


"By the meekness and gentleness of Christ." 2 Corinthians 10:1


"The fruit of the Spirit is . . . gentleness." Galatians 5:22


"Let your gentleness be evident to all." Philippians 4:5


"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." Ephesians 4:2


"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Colossians 3:12


"We were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children." 1 Thessalonians 2:7


"But you, man of God, flee from all this, and pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness." 1 Timothy 6:11


"The Lord's servant must be gentle towards all." 2 Timothy 2:24


"The unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." 1 Peter 3:4


Gentleness is a beautiful quality. It is essential to all true character. Nobody admires ungentleness in either man or woman. When a man is harsh, cold, unfeeling, unkind, and crude and rough in his manner—no one speaks of his fine disposition. When a woman is loud-voiced, dictatorial, petulant, given to speaking bitter words and doing unkindly things—no person is ever heard saying of her, "What a lovely disposition she has!" She may have many excellent qualities, and may do much good—but her ungentleness mars the beauty of her character.


No man is truly great, who is not gentle.


"Your gentleness has made me great." Psalm 18:35.


Courage and strength and truth and justness and righteousness are essential elements in a manly character; but if all these be in a man and gentleness be lacking—the life is sadly flawed. We might put the word gentleness into Paul's wonderful sentences and read them thus: "If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not gentleness, I am become sounding brass, or a clanging cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not gentleness, I am nothing. And if I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and if I give my body to be burned, but have not gentleness, it profits me nothing."


If any Christian, even the Christliest, would pray for a new adornment, an added grace of character—it may well be for gentleness. This is the crown of all loveliness, the Christliest of all Christly qualities.


The Bible gives us many a glimpse of gentleness as an attribute of God. We think of the Law of Moses as a great collection of dry statutes, referring to ceremonial observances, to forms of worship, and to matters of duty. This is one of the last places where we would look for anything tender. Yet he who goes carefully over the chapters which contain these laws, comes upon many a bit of gentleness—like a sweet flower on a cold mountain crag.


We think of Sinai as the seat of law's sternness. We hear the voice of thundering, and we see the flashing of lightning. Clouds and darkness and all dreadfulness surround the mountain. The people are kept far away because of the fearful holiness of the place. No one thinks of hearing anything gentle at Sinai. Yet scarcely even in the New Testament is there a more wonderful unveiling of the love of the divine heart than we find among the words spoken on that smoking mountain. "I am the Lord, I am the Lord, the merciful and gracious God. I am slow to anger and rich in unfailing love and faithfulness. I show this unfailing love to many thousands by forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion." Exodus 34:6-7


There is another revealing of divine gentleness in the story of Elijah at Horeb. A great and strong wind rent the mountains, and broke in pieces the rocks—but the Lord was not in the wind. After the storm there was an earthquake, with its frightful accompaniments—but the Lord was not in the earthquake. Then a fire swept by—but the Lord was not in the fire. After the fire there was heard a soft whisper breathing in the air—a still, small voice, a sound of gentle stillness. And that was God. God is gentle. With all His power, power that has made all the universe and holds all things in being, there is no mother in all the world so gentle as God is.


Gentleness being a divine quality is one which belongs to the true human character. We are taught to be perfect as our Father in heaven is perfect; if we would be like God—we must be gentle!


This world needs nothing more than it needs gentleness. All human hearts hunger for tenderness. We are made for love—not only to love, but to be loved. Harshness pains us. Ungentleness touches our sensitive spirits as frost touches the flowers. It stunts the growth of all lovely things.


We naturally crave gentleness. It is like a genial summer to our life. Beneath its warm, nourishing influence beautiful things in us grow.


Then there always are many people who have special need of tenderness. We cannot know what secret burdens many of those about us are carrying, what hidden griefs burn like fires in the hearts of those with whom we mingle in our common life. Not all grief wears the outward garb of mourning; sunny faces often times veil heavy hearts. Many people who make no audible appeal for sympathy yet crave tenderness—they certainly need it, though they ask it not—as they bow beneath their burden. There is no weakness in such a yearning. We remember how our Master himself longed for expressions of love when he was passing through his deepest experiences of suffering, and how bitterly he was disappointed when his friends failed him.


Many a life goes down in the fierce, hard struggle—for lack of the blessing of strength which human tenderness would have brought. Many a man owes his victoriousness in sorrow or in temptation—to the gentleness which came to him in some helpful form from a thoughtful friend. We know not who of those we meet any day, need the help which our gentleness could give. Life is not easy to most people. It duties are hard. Its burdens are heavy. Life's strain never relaxes. There is no truce in life's battle. This world is not friendly to noble living. There are countless antagonisms. Heaven can be reached by any of us, only by passing through serried lines of strong enmity. Human help is not always ready, when it would be welcomed. Too often men find indifference or opposition—where they ought to find love. Life's rivalries and competitions are sharp, and often times deadly.


We can never do amiss in showering gentleness. There is no day when it will be untimely; there is no place where it will not find welcome. It will harm no one—and it may save someone from despair. The touch of a child on a woman's hand, may save a life from self destruction.


The people knew always, that Jesus was their friend. His life was full of rich helpfulness. No wrong or cruelty ever made him ungentle. He scattered kindness wherever he moved.


One day they nailed those gentle hands to a cross! After that the people missed him, for he came no more to their homes. It was a sore loss to the poor and the sad, and there must have been grief in many a household. But while the personal ministry of Jesus was ended by his death, the influence of his life went on. He had set the world a new example of love. He had taught lessons of patience and meekness which no other teacher had ever given. He had imparted new meaning to human affection. He had made love the law of his kingdom.


As one might drop a handful of spices into a pot of brackish water, and therewith sweeten the waters—so these teachings of Jesus fell into the world's unloving, unkindly life, and at once began to change it into gentleness. Wherever the gospel has gone these saying of the great Teacher have been carried, and have fallen into people's hearts, leaving there their blessings of gentleness.


The influence of the death of Jesus also has wonderfully helped in teaching the great lesson of gentleness. It was love that died upon the cross! A heart broke that day on Calvary. A great sorrow always, for the time at least, softens hearts. A funeral touches with at least a momentary tenderness, all who pass by—loud laughter is subdued even in the most careless. A noble sacrifice, as when a life is given in the effort to help or to save others, always makes other hearts a little truer, a little braver, and a little nobler in their impulses.


The influence of the death of Jesus on this world's life is immeasurable. The cross is like a great heart of love beating at the center of the world, sending its pulsings of tenderness into all lands. The life of Christ beats in the hearts of his followers, and all who love him have something of his gentleness. The love of Jesus, kindles love in every believing heart. That is the lesson set for all of us in the New Testament. We are taught that we should love as Jesus loved, that we should be kind as he was kind, that his meekness, patience, thoughtfulness, selflessness, should be reproduced in us.


There is need for the lesson of gentleness in homes. There love's sweetest flowers should bloom. There we should always carry our purest and best affections. No matter how heavy the burdens of the day have been, when we gather home at nightfall we should bring only cheer and gentleness. No one has any right to be ungentle in his own home. If he finds himself in such a mood he should go to his room—until it has vanished.


The mother's life is not easy, however happy she may be. Her hours are long, and her load of care is never laid down. When one day's tasks are finished, and she seeks her pillow for rest, she knows that her eyes will open in the morning on another day full as the one that is gone. With children about her continually, tugging at her dress, climbing up on her knee, bringing their little hurts, their quarrels, their broken toys, their complaints, their thousand questions to her—and then with all the cares and toils that are hers, and with all the interruptions and annoyances of the busy days—it is no wonder if sometimes the strain is almost more than she can endure in quiet patience.


Nevertheless, we should all try to learn the lesson of gentleness in our homes. It is the lesson that is needed to make the home-happiness a little like heaven! Home is meant to be a place to grow in. It is a school in which we should learn love in all its branches. It is not a place for selfishness or for self indulgence. It should never be a place where a man can work off his annoyances, after trying to keep polite and courteous to others, all the day. It is not a place for the opening of doors of heart and lips to let ugly tempers fly out at will. It is not a place where people can act as they feel, however unchristian their feelings may be, withdrawing the guards of self control, relaxing all restraints, and letting their worse tempers have sway.


Home is a school in which there are great life-lessons to be learned. It is a place of self-discipline. All friendship is disciple. We learn to give up our own way—or if we do not we never can become a true friend.


It is well that we get this truth clearly before us, that life with all its experiences is our opportunity for learning love. The lesson is set for us is, "Love one another. As I have loved you—so you must love one another." Our one thing to master this lesson, is love. We are not in this world to get rich, to gain power, to become learned in the arts and sciences, to build up a great business, or to do great things in any other way. We are not here to get along in our daily work, in our shops, or schools, or homes, or on our farms. We are not here to preach the gospel, to comfort sorrow, to visit the sick, and perform deeds of charity. All of these, or any of these, may be among our duties, and they may fill our hands; but in all our occupations the real business of life, that which we are always to strive to do, the work which must go on in all our experiences, if we grasp life's true meaning at all—is to learn to love, and to grow loving in disposition and character.


We may learn the finest arts—music, painting, sculpture, poetry; or may master the noblest sciences; or by means of reading, study, travel, and converse with refined people, may attain the best culture. But if in all this, we do not learn love, and become more gentle in spirit and act—we have missed the prize of living. If in the midst of all our duties, cares, trials, joys, sorrows—we are not day by day growing in sweetness, in gentleness, in patience, in meekness, in unselfishness, in thoughtfulness, and in all the branches of love, we are not learning the great lesson set for us by our Master, in this school of life.


We should be gentle above all—to those we love the best. There is an inner circle of affection to which each heart has a right, without robbing others. While we are to be gentle unto all men—never ungentle to any—there are those to whom we owe special tenderness. Those within our own home belong to this sacred inner circle.


We must make sure that our home piety is true and real, that it is of the spirit and life, and not merely in form. It must be love—love wrought out in thought, in word, in disposition, in act. It must show itself not only in patience, forbearance, and self control, and in sweetness under provocation; but also in all gentle thoughtfulness, and in little tender ways in all the family interactions.


No amount of good religious teaching will ever make up for the lack of affectionateness in parents toward children. A gentleman said the other day, "My mother was a good woman. She insisted on her boys going to church and Sunday-school, and taught us to pray. But I do not remember that she ever kissed me. She was a woman of lofty principles—but cold and reserved—lacking in tenderness."


It does not matter how much Bible reading, and prayer, and catechism-saying, and godly teaching, there may be in a home. If gentleness is lacking, that is lacking which most of all, the children need in the life of their home. A child must have love. Love is to its life, what sunshine is to plants and flowers. No young life can ever grow to its best—in a home without gentleness.


Yet there are parents who forget this, or fail to realize its importance. There are homes where the scepter is iron—where affection is repressed—where a child is never kissed after baby days have passed.


A woman of genius said that until she was eighteen she could not tell time by the clock. When she was twelve her father had tried to teach her how to tell time; but she had failed to understand him, and feared to let him know that she had not understood. Yet she said, that he had never in his life spoken to her a harsh word. On the other hand, however, he had never spoken an endearing word to her; and his marble-like coldness had frozen her heart! After his death she wrote of him, "His heart was pure—but cold. I think there was no other like it on the earth."


I have a letter from a young girl of eighteen in another city—a stranger, of whose family I have no personal knowledge. The girl writes to me, not to complain, but to ask counsel as to her own duty. Hers is a home where love finds no adequate expression in affectionateness. Both her parents are professing Christians, but evidently they have trained themselves to repress whatever tenderness there may be in their nature. This young girl is hungry for home-love, and writes to ask if there is any way in which she can reach her parent's hearts to find the treasures of love which she believes are locked away there. "I know they love me," she writes. "They would give their lives for me. But my heart is breaking for expressions of that love." She is starving for loves' daily food!


It is to be feared that there are too many such homes—Christian homes, with prayer and godly teaching; and with pure, consistent living—but with no daily bread of lovingness for hungry hearts.


I plead for love's gentleness in homes. Nothing else will take its place. There may be fine furniture, rich carpets, costly pictures, a large library of excellent volumes, fine music, and all luxuries and adornments; and there may be religious forms—a family altar, good instruction, and consistent Christian living; but if gentleness is lacking in the family communion—the lack is one which leaves an irreparable hurt in the lives of the children.


There are many people who, when their loved ones die, wish they could send some words of love and tenderness to them, which they have never spoken while their loved ones were close beside them. In too many homes gentleness is not manifested while the family circle is unbroken; and the hearts ache for the privilege of showing kindness, perhaps for the opportunity of unsaying words and undoing acts which caused pain. We would better learn the lesson of gentleness in time, and then fill our home with love while we may. It will not be very long until our chance of showing love shall have been used up!


But home is not the only place where we should be gentle. If the inner circle of life's holy place have claim on us, for the best that our love can yield—the common walks and the wider circle also have claim for our love and gentleness. Our Master manifested himself to his own—as he did not to the world; but the world, even his cruelest enemies, never received anything of ungentleness from him. The heart's most sacred revealings are for the heart's chosen and trusted ones, as the secret of the Lord is with those who fear him; but we are to be gentle unto all men, as our Father sends his rain upon the just and upon the unjust. What we learn under home's roof, in the close fellowship of household life—we are to live out in our associations with others.


As Moses' face shone when he came down among the people, after being with God in the mount—so our faces should carry the warmth and glow of tenderness from love's inner shrine—out into all other places of ordinary social interaction. What we learn of love's lesson in our home—we should put into practice in our life in the world, in the midst of its strifes, rivalries, competitions, frictions, and manifold trials and testings.


We must never forget that true religion—in its practical outworking—is love. Some people think religion is mere orthodoxy of belief—that he who has a good creed is truly religious. We must remember that the Pharisees had a good creed, and were orthodox; yet we have our Lord's testimony that their religion did not please God. It lacked love. It was self-righteous, and unmerciful.


Others think that true religion consists in the punctilious observance of forms of worship. If they are always at church on Sundays and other church meetings, and if only they attend to all the ordinances, and follow all the rules—they are religious. Yet sometimes they are not easy people to live with. They are censorious, dictatorial, judges of others, exacting, severe in manner, harsh in speech. Let no one imagine that any degree of devotion to the church, and diligence in observing ordinances, will ever pass with God for true religion—if one has not love, is not loving and gentle.


The practical outworking of true religion—is love. A good creed is well; but doctrines which do not become a life of gentleness in character and disposition, in speech and in conduct, are not fruitful doctrines. Church attendance religious duties are right and good; but they are only means to an end—and the end is lovingness. The religious observances which do not work for us kinder thoughts, diviner affections, and a sweeter life—are not profiting us. The final object of all Christian life and worship—is to make us more like Christ—and Christ is love. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word, even in this, "You shall love." "The one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments are all summed up by this: Love your neighbor as yourself." Romans 13:8-9


Those who live the gentle life of patient, thoughtful, selfless love—make a melody whose strains are enrapturing.


Someone asks almost in disheartenment. "How can we learn this lesson of gentleness?" Many of us seem never to master it. We go on through life, enjoying the means of grace, and striving more or less earnestly to grow better. Yet our progress appears to be very slow. We desire to learn love's lesson—but it comes out very slowly in our life.


We must note, first of all, that the lesson has to be learned. It does not come naturally, at least to most people. We find it hard to be gentle always, and to all kinds of people. Perhaps we can be gentle on sunny days; but when the harsh north wind blows—we grow fretful, and lose our sweetness. Or we can be gentle without much effort to some gentle-spirited people, while perhaps we are almost unbearably ungentle to others. We are gracious and sweet to those who are gracious to us; but when people are rude to us, when they treat us unkindly, when they seem unworthy of our love—it is not so easy to be gentle to them. Yet that is the lesson which is everywhere taught in the Scriptures, and which the Master has set for us.


It is a comfort to us to know that the lesson has to be learned—and does not come as a gift from God, without any effort. We must learn to be gentle, just as artists learn to paint lovely pictures. They spend years and years under masters, and in patient, toilsome effort—before they can paint pictures which at all realize the lovely visions of their soul. It is a still more difficult are to learn to reproduce visions of love in human life—to be always patient, gentle, kind.


It gives us encouragement, as we are striving to get our lesson, to read the words in which Paul says that he had learned to be content whatever his condition was. It adds, too, to the measure of our encouragement to see from the chronology of the letter in which we find this bit of autobiography, that the apostle was well on toward the close of his life—when he wrote so triumphantly of this attainment. We may infer that it was not easy for him to learn the lesson of contentment, and that he was quite an old man before he had mastered it!


It is probably as hard to learn to be always gentle—as it is to learn to be always contented. It will take time, and careful, unwearying application. We must set ourselves resolutely to the task; for the lesson is one that we must not fail to learn, unless we would fail in growing into Christliness. It is not a matter of small importance. It is not something merely that is desirable, but not essential. Gentleness is not a mere ornament of life, which one may have, or may not have—as one may, or may not, wear jewelry. It is not a mere frill of character, which adds to its beauty, but is not part of it. Gentleness is essential in every true Christian life! It is part of its very warp and woof. Not to be gentle—is not to be like Jesus.


Therefore the lesson must be learned. The golden threads must be woven into the texture. Nothing less than the gentleness of Christ himself, must be accepted as the pattern after which we are to fashion our life and character. Then, every day some progress must be made toward the attainment of this lovely ideal. "See that no day passes, in which you do not make yourself a somewhat better Christian." The motto of an old artist was, "No day without a line." If we set before us the perfect standard—the gentleness of our Master—and then every day make some slight advance, though it be but a line, toward the reproducing of this gentleness in our own life, we shall at last wear the ornament of a gentle spirit, which is so precious in God's sight.


We must never rest satisfied with any partial attainment. Just so far as we are still ungentle, rude to anyone, even to a beggar, sharp in speech, haughty in bearing, unkind in any way to a human being—the lesson of gentleness is yet imperfectly learned, and we must continue our diligence. We must get control of our temper, and must master all our moods and feelings. We must train ourselves to check any faintest risings of irritation, turning it instantly into an impulse of tenderness. We must school ourselves to be thoughtful, patient, charitable, and to desire always to do good. The way to acquire any grace of character—is to compel thought, word, and act in the one channel—until the lovely quality has become a permanent part of our life.


There is something else. We never can learn the lesson ourselves alone. To have gentleness in one's life—one must have a gentle heart. Mere human gentleness is not enough. We need more than training and self-discipline. Our heart must be made new—before it will yield the life of perfect lovingness. It is full of self and pride and hatred and envy and all undivine qualities.


The gentleness which the New Testament holds up to us as the standard of Christian living—is too high for any mere attainment. We need that God shall work in us, to help us to produce the loveliness which is in the pattern—Christ. And this divine co-working is promised. "The fruit of the Spirit is gentleness." The Holy Spirit will help us to learn the lesson, working in our heart and life the sweetness of love, the gentleness of disposition, and the graciousness of manner, which will please God.


There is a legend of a great artist. One day he had labored long on his picture, but was discouraged, for he could not produce on his canvas the beauty of his soul's vision. He was weary too; and sinking down on a stool by his easel, he fell asleep. While he slept an angel came; and, taking the brushes which had dropped from the tired hands, he finished the picture in marvelous way.


Just so, when we toil and strive in the name of Christ to learn our lesson of gentleness, and yet grow disheartened and wary because we learn it so slowly—Christ himself comes, and puts on our canvas the touches of beauty which our own unskilled hands cannot produce! "Your gentleness has made me great." Psalm 18:35







4/16/2011

FAMILY - A LIFETIME COMMITMENT - WHAT IT TAKES TO BE EFFECTIVE



A personal note:


Facebook asks "What's on your mind?"

Here's what's on my mind during this holiday season:

Having been in an unequivocal support role in our extended family 'enterprise' for 47 years in a partnership with my gracious, very socially responsible, acutely intelligent wife who is CEO here are my unvarnished observations:

It takes a rare combination of vision, focus, energy, uncompromising strength of character and purpose in valuing, creating, developing and maintaing unity in a large, diverse, extended family.

It takes grace under pressure.

The capacity for empathy and compassion, a very strong loving, attentive, unconditionally accepting and firm guiding hand, a talent for collaborative team building, organizing, extraordinary skill in mediating and resolving conflicts, personal self discipline and a genuine comfort in your own 'skin' - simply put, grounded. Success in this 'enterprise' is an inside job. Everything we need we have and control - between our ears. It is not everyone's bag. There is no mention of math, science, language, history, the social sciences, the classical professions, commerce or a myriad of other areas of higher learning in these observations.

It is a lifelong marathon - certainly not a sprint. Above all it is about establishing a culture of ethical choice premised on 'we' vs. 'me'.

In the commercial world such enterprises are described as a having a collaborative team based environment with a client centric focus.
It's purpose in both worlds is simple - the empowerment of those we love in our family and those for whose growth and development we are responsible as well as those whom we serve in our commercial lives.

In the world of complex knowledge and information the relationship with those whom we seek to influence whether commercially or on a social level is most effectively achieved through genuine engagement - through values based leadership one-on-one and above all through lifetime high performance coaching and mentoring. I view family creation, building, growth, maintenance, retention and unity as just such a complex enterprise - hence the choice of CEO as the label I attach to this leadership role.

In my personal observations of almost 50 years I never cease to be amazed and impressed with my wife's unwavering belief in the purpose and value of the family unit and her display of the characteristics I have described - and of many others that I have not. She has been blessed with exraordinary role models along the way.

Effectiveness in this enterprise model is measured by the growth of others - through contributing to the greater good. Our own personal growth is simply a by - product.

It requires a tough balanced code of lifetime behaviour - including toughness of mind and gentleness of heart, unwavering purpose, focus, intellect, spirit, character, personal judgment and a positively optimistic view of the future.

Not unique, of course, but certainly uncommon, in my opinion, observation and experience.

Gratefully,

Dan Zwicker.

4/14/2011

THE CASE FOR GRAND AMERICAN ‘CLIENT CENTRIC’ AMBITION – OBAMA’S RUN FOR PRESIDENT IN 2012




The President's speech today began a new conversation in Washington about how to reduce the deficit while protecting crucial investments in our country's future.



But as we seek to build an organization based outside of Washington, President Obama's speech also provides an unusually stark contrast -- one all of us can use to start conversations with our friends and neighbors about what's at stake in this election.


He spoke about things you don't generally hear in Washington conversations too often dominated by special interests: He'll cut waste and excess at the Pentagon -- particularly spending that is requested not by our military, but by politicians and corporate interests.


He'll eliminate tax cuts for Americans in the highest tax brackets who don't need them, including himself -- and he will reform the individual tax code so that it's fair and simple and so that the amount of taxes you pay isn't determined by what kind of accountant you can afford.


Some cuts he proposed are tough. But they're also smart and surgical -- helping us balance our books while still doing the right things to win the future. President Obama's plan would protect the middle class, invest in our kids' education, and make sure we don't protect the wealthiest Americans from the costs of reform at the expense of the most vulnerable.


The other side has presented a very clear alternative: End Medicare as we know it, privatizing the program that millions of seniors rely on for health care. Make deep cuts to education. Slash investments in clean energy and infrastructure. All to pay for tax cuts for people making over $250,000 a year, and all while actually raising our national debt.


In short, their plan will please a special interest donor base and those who put ideology before results rather than reduce deficits over the long term. And let's be clear: They think they can get away with it because, fundamentally, they don't think you'll do anything about it.


That's where I know we can prove them wrong. Because we can respond right now by building an organization that will stop them -- not just in this deficit battle, but in the next election so they never have the chance to enact these proposals.


President Obama made a promise in his speech today. He said that we won't have to sacrifice programs like Medicaid and Social Security -- programs that millions of Americans rely on -- as long as he's President. He's committed to seeking serious solutions to the problems we face while still upholding the larger responsibilities we have to one another. So it's our job to build the organization that's going to keep him in the White House.


More soon,


Messina


Jim Messina
Campaign Manager
Obama for America


P.S. -- If you missed President Obama's speech earlier today, some excerpts are below:


1. "Our approach lowers the government's health care bills by reducing the cost of health care itself.


"Already, the reforms we passed in the health care law will reduce our deficit by $1 trillion. My approach would build on these reforms. We will reduce wasteful subsidies and erroneous payments. We will cut spending on prescription drugs by using Medicare's purchasing power to drive greater efficiency and speed generic brands of medicine onto the market. We will work with governors of both parties to demand more efficiency and accountability from Medicaid. We will change the way we pay for health care -- not by procedure or the number of days spent in a hospital, but with new incentives for doctors and hospitals to prevent injuries and improve results. And we will slow the growth of Medicare costs by strengthening an independent commission of doctors, nurses, medical experts and consumers who will look at all the evidence and recommend the best ways to reduce unnecessary spending while protecting access to the services seniors need."


2. "But let me be absolutely clear: I will preserve these health care programs as a promise we make to each other in this society. I will not allow Medicare to become a voucher program that leaves seniors at the mercy of the insurance industry, with a shrinking benefit to pay for rising costs. I will not tell families with children who have disabilities that they have to fend for themselves. We will reform these programs, but we will not abandon the fundamental commitment this country has kept for generations."


3. "In December, I agreed to extend the tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans because it was the only way I could prevent a tax hike on middle-class Americans. But we cannot afford $1 trillion worth of tax cuts for every millionaire and billionaire in our society. And I refuse to renew them again."


4. "This is my approach to reduce the deficit by $4 trillion over the next twelve years. It's an approach that achieves about $2 trillion in spending cuts across the budget. It will lower our interest payments on the debt by $1 trillion. It calls for tax reform to cut about $1 trillion in spending from the tax code. And it achieves these goals while protecting the middle class, our commitment to seniors, and our investments in the future.


"So this is our vision for America -- a vision where we live within our means while still investing in our future; where everyone makes sacrifices but no one bears all the burden; where we provide a basic measure of security for our citizens and rising opportunity for our children."


5. "But no matter what we argue or where we stand, we've always held certain beliefs as Americans. We believe that in order to preserve our own freedoms and pursue our own happiness, we can't just think about ourselves. We have to think about the country that made those liberties possible. We have to think about our fellow citizens with whom we share a community. And we have to think about what's required to preserve the American Dream for future generations.


"This sense of responsibility -- to each other and to our country -- this isn't a partisan feeling. It isn't a Democratic or Republican idea. It's patriotism."

THE CASE FOR CORPORATE HIGH PERFORMANCE THROUGH ONE-ON-ONE ENGAGEMENT : THE WOMAN BEHIND FACEBOOK’S SUCCESS





Girl power in a geek world


What we can learn from Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg




If you know Facebook (if you don't, we need to have a chat), then you know Mark Zuckerberg. The Zuckster's shiny 26-year old face is plastered all over the media. But the bombshell brains behind the scenes belong to 42-year old mother of two, Sheryl Sandberg.



As Chief Operating Officer, Sheryl oversees the company's sales, marketing, business development, human resources, public policy and communications. Since she joined Facebook in 2008, Sheryl has been credited with successfully managing the college website through its hypergrowth stage and, more importantly, making it wildly profitable.


Who's that girl?


A Harvard MBA, Sheryl began her career as an economist with the World Bank and then (at age 27!) became Chief of Staff for the US Secretary of the Treasury under President Bill Clinton's administration. Her tech experience started with Google, where she worked as Vice President of Global Online Sales and Operations.


In 2007, former Yahoo CEO Dan Rosensweig held a Christmas party. It was in the foyer that Sheryl met Zuck. While everyone around them swilled cocktails, the two stood by the front door, immersed in a deep conversation that would lead to Sheryl's move to Facebook.


Her biggest risk?


In an interview with Moira Forbes, publisher of ForbesWoman, Sheryl says her riskiest move was taking the Google job in 2001. At the time, the tech bubble had just burst and Google was an internet start-up company with 200 employees. Sheryl took the leap, got Google's revenue stream sorted out and grew the ad team from four people to 4,000.


Best advice she ever got?


Eric Schmidt, executive chairman of Google, said to Sheryl, "Go where there is growth. Where there's fast growth, that's what creates opportunities." She took his advice and now adds: "Going to things you really believe in, whether they seem obvious or not, is the most important thing."


Nice gals finish first?


In her presentations, Sheryl often cites a study that says success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. Yet she seems determined to personally reverse this notion. According to a recent Vogue profile, Sheryl is famous for remembering birthdays and sending supportive emails to her friends before their big moments. She's a four-time successful matchmaker, has a tight relationship with her sister, and regularly hosts dinners and parties for girlfriends and colleagues at her home.


Meanwhile on the job, Sheryl's elegant suits may look out of place among the flip-flops and hoodies at Facebook, but she is an active manager, making sure everyone on the team feels respected, engaged and mentored in their careers. According to estimates, about 200 of her former employees from Google have followed her to Facebook.


Her advice for the rest of us?


So what can we learn from this tech-femme dynamo? At her December 2010 Ted Talk, Sheryl had this adviceto share with working women:


Sit at the table. Have you ever walked into a boardroom and humbly taken a seat at the side of the room, maybe perched on the windowsill? Men are far more comfortable acknowledging their own awesomeness, while women tend to play down their authority and look for external factors to account for their achievements. As Sheryl says, no one gets to the corner office if they aren't comfortable sitting at the table. Own your own success!


Make your partner a real partner. Working inside the home has to be as important as working outside the home - for both genders. In case you need a reason to believe this, Sheryl cites a study of households where the man and woman have equal earnings and equal home responsibilities. These couples enjoy half the divorce rate of the broader population and… wait for it… more sex. Sign us up!


Don't leave before you leave. At the point when a woman starts to think about having a family, she often instinctively starts to scale back her career responsibilities. Never mind that it might be many months or even years before she actually has a baby. Sheryl suggests you maximize your career time right up to the moment you step out the door to go give birth. Keep taking the plum assignments and apply for the fabulous job opening that comes up. This way, if you do choose to return to the office after your baby is born, you are more likely to have the kind of job opportunities that make juggling family and work worthwhile. Leave on a high!


The Sandbergian way


In an industry dominated by men and tech-savvy wunderkinds, Sheryl Sandberg is proving that a woman of a certain age can not only add value, but also be an essential business partner who can take a good idea and make it golden. Just ask Zuck.







by goldengirlfinanc.ca 

4/13/2011

OUR LEADERS: HARPER, UNDER ATTACK IN TV DEBATE, ASKS VIEWERS TO GIVE HIM MAJORITY GOVERNMENT

Prime Minister Stephen Harper makes a point during the federal election leaders debate …


OTTAWA - With his "bickering" rivals as live-action campaign props, Stephen Harper gave Canadians a stark warning Tuesday: Hand his Conservatives a majority government, or expect more of the same — and sooner, rather than later.


Harper stared directly into the camera as he fended off a three-pronged attack that focused on allegations of Conservative deception, dubious spending practices and secretive, conspiratorial government.


He shrugged it off, talking past his rivals to warn viewers at home about the alternative to a Tory majority.


"I hope this time — and I'm being quite frank — I hope it is a majority," Harper said, broaching a subject he was loathe to discuss in the 2004, 2006 and 2008 federal campaigns.


"Otherwise, you look at the debate we're having today, we're going to be back into a fifth election in no time at all."


The 2006 and '08 elections were precipitated by Harper himself, and the latest was presaged by weeks of heavy government advertising and Conservative spending announcements.


Nonetheless, as his opponents assailed him for everything from contempt of Parliament to the looming negotiations with the provinces on health-care funding, the soaring cost of new fighter jets and criminal justice legislation, Harper blamed the opposition for triggering an unpopular election.


"What we are asking — in an election we didn't want, in an election Canadians didn't want — we're asking Canadians to make the decision: Do you want to have this kind of bickering, do you want to have another election in two years? Or do you want a focus on the economy?" an unflappable Harper asked at the debate's midpoint.


Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff shot back: "There he goes again with this word 'bickering.' This is a debate, Mr. Harper. This is a democracy."


Polls suggest Ignatieff — the focus of sustained Conservative attack ads before the writ was even dropped — has yet to connect with a wide swath of disengaged Canadian voters. His debate task was to re-introduce himself as a prime minister in waiting.


But with NDP Leader Jack Layton snapping off one-line zingers at both and Ignatieff and Harper, and Gilles Duceppe of the Bloc Quebecois focusing mainly on the prime minister, Harper remained the debate's focal point.


Political scientist Paul Thomas of the University of Manitoba said Harper played his role well.


"The prime minister did what he had to do, which was to remain poised and look self-assured and confident and calm. He didn't lose his temper."


And given public opinion polling to date, Thomas said Ignatieff, "would have liked to have had a moment where he could say, 'Well, there's one or two moments of triumph tonight in this debate.'


"And I'm not sure they came up," said the political scientist.


Harper was slapped from the opening exchange of the evening, when Duceppe thanked him for "answering a question from a citizen for the first time in this campaign."


Harper has been running a classic front-runner's campaign, with only limited, tightly scripted interactions with the public.


Layton, a seasoned veteran of televised leaders' debates, landed blows literally left and right as he took on both Ignatieff and Harper in turns.


After ripping Ignatieff's Liberals for supporting Harper's minority government in a number of key votes, Layton turned to the podium on his right.


"In fact, Mr. Harper, if it hadn't been for him supporting you all this time, I'd have to be lending you my crutch so your government could've stayed in power," said the NDP leader, who recently had hip surgery.


Layton's debate task was to ensure New Democrats aren't squeezed out in a two-horse Conservative-Liberal race, and his performance kept Parliament's fourth-place party on the electoral radar. That works to Harper's advantage.


The debate consisted of six segments, each featuring two of the four leaders squaring off in a six-minute showdown after a pre-recorded question from a Canadian voter.


Each segment ended with a brief free-for-all debate involving all four leaders.


That the three opposition leaders would be focusing their fire on the prime minister was no surprise and Harper — participating in his ninth televised campaign debate as a party leader — used that focus to deliver his preferred election message.


Harper has been claiming the opposition parties will form a coalition government to unseat another Conservative minority "with lightning speed," although Ignatieff explicitly ruled out a formal coalition on the first day of the election campaign.


The Conservative leader appeared to shift the coalition theme during the debate toward an argument on stability.


"I don't think this kind of political bickering, personal attacks back and forth, is frankly going to do anything for Canadians," said Harper.


Ignatieff, who appeared tight and hesitant compared with his free-flowing performances on the hustings in the first two weeks of the campaign, missed the opportunity to ask the Conservative leader why he authorized attack ads for several months in the election lead-up.


Instead, Ignatieff repeatedly made the point that Harper's Conservatives cannot be trusted with power.


"You keep talking about Parliament as if it's this little debating society that's a pesky interference in your rule of the country. It's not," said the Liberal leader, the only rookie in the debate.


"It's the Parliament of the people of Canada and they've found you in contempt."


Harper said the election was simply opportunism, "because the other three parties saw a chance to go after the government."


Ignatieff and Layton did battle over Afghanistan, with Layton urging an immediate end to the Canadian mission and the Liberal leader insisting it's right for Canadian soldiers to stay and train members of the Afghan National Army.


"Are you saying (after) these brave men and women gave their lives, we walk away from Afghanistan and pretend to the Canadian people it didn't happen? We are where we are, sir," Ignatieff said.


"You can't walk away and pretend it didn't happen. It did happen."


Layton dismissed the argument as the same one put forth by the Conservatives, and tried to portray Ignatieff as a Tory in Liberal clothing.


It was a running skirmish that carried throughout the two-hour debate.


'"Your party has a rather long history of making promises in elections and breaking them after," Layton charged at one point.


"But Jack, at least we get into government," Ignatieff responded. "You'd be in opposition forever."


"There's that sense of entitlement once again," shot back Layton.


A Canadian Press Harris-Decima poll released Tuesday suggests voters had the highest expectations of Harper, with 37 per cent of respondents predicting the prime minister would have the strongest performance.


Only 19 per cent of respondents predicted a strong performance for Ignatieff.


As expected Harper came under fire amid fresh accusations of Conservative pork-barrel politics and dubious government spending.


Respect for democracy and transparency in public spending were at the heart of the historic non-confidence vote March 25 that found the Harper government in contempt of Parliament.


Those issues were largely ignored through the first two weeks of campaigning, but got new life from a Canadian Press story about a damning draft report by the auditor general.


The confidential Jan. 13 draft says the government misinformed Parliament to win approval for a $50-million G8 fund that lavished money on questionable projects in Industry Minister Tony Clement's riding. And it suggests the process by which the funding was approved may have been illegal.


"You're citing a report that the auditor general's office said shouldn't be relied upon," Harper told Duceppe during the debate.


Layton suggested all four leaders sit down Wednesday and find a way to have the auditor's final report released.


However the auditor general's office has firmly stated it can't release the final report until Parliament resumes. It is investigating the leaks.


The draft report says a local "G8 summit liaison and implementation team" that included Clement chose the 32 projects that received funding, and did so with no apparent regard for the needs of the summit or the conditions laid down by the government.


The report is the latest in a string of campaign controversies that have had Tories scrambling. Others include:


— Reports from the U.S. that the cost of the F-35 stealth fighter jets the government plans to buy is likely to double to about $150 million a plane.


— Vetting of guests at Conservative campaign rallies and the expulsion of those deemed undesirable.


— The revelation that Harper hired a senior adviser who had been convicted on five counts of fraud. Harper said he didn't know about all the convictions.


Still, polls suggest the Conservative leader hasn't suffered any tangible losses. A Canadian Press Harris-Decima survey Monday suggested the Tories were close to majority territory with 40 per cent support compared with the Liberals' 28.

Bruce Cheadle
The Canadian Press

Tue, 12 Apr, 2011